Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Top Posters

The Victor Meldrew Thread

2»

Comments

  • Screaming DaveScreaming Dave Posts: 749Member
    And my pet hate - chewing gum! Not so much the act of chewing it, although I think it looks horrible, but the act of disposing of it. Do people spit their chewing gum out on the carpet at home? Or stick it under the table?! I doubt it. So why do they do it on my marquee carpets or under my banqueting tables!??!!
  • SilversharkSilvershark Posts: 19Member
    Totally agree about chewing gum. A nearby pavement was completely renewed less than a year ago. Today it's littered with mini pancakes of spent gum. I just can't understand that mindset.
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    Ghastly
  • nicholaspaulnicholaspaul Posts: 448Member
    Ugh gum. Especially when mouth is open.

    Oh yes - Peeve number 8276: eating with mouth open.
    No no no no NO,
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    edited April 25
    Glop, scshlop, kkklop... and on. The effect is the same with chewing gum or food. The difference ?

    Minty breath freshness !

    I don't want to taste or hear either of your mouth's contents, Mr Scssshlopper !

    Eating with mouth open looks like mixed colours through a washing machine window.

    Chewing gum with mouth open looks like a single pair of underpants on low spin.

    All who do it look like gormless twits - especially a bloke wearing two earings (only one is acceptable in my book.)
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    edited April 25
    Tattoos above the neck or on the hands.

    Not so much the tattoos themselves but everyone who has these should forfeit welfare benefits as it severely limits job opportunities.

    Self-inflicted unemployment renders one inelligible for benefits - so why shouldn't facial tattoos ?

    They are not art (facial.) They are designed to intimidate and come from tribal warrior tradition.
  • Screaming DaveScreaming Dave Posts: 749Member
    People who use the word, "Like," as if it's punctuation. "Like, y'know, there was this, like, bloke at the bus stop, and he was, like, talking to me, and when, like, the bus came, he, like, got on and, like, sat next to me, and I was, like, no way, so I, like, moved ..."

    What is that about? My teenage boys do it, at least one does all the time. It drives me insane. He'll say, "There was this, like, dog at the park," and I'll say, "So it was like a dog, but not actually a dog? What is like a dog, but not a dog? A small bear?"
  • Mark PMark P Posts: 2,180Member
    It has been fun reading the posts in this thread, but I was finding it difficult to think of a real BIG hate of mine, because it all usually pales into insignificance compared to what I feel about work. However an escalation of a scenario Kevin outlined earlier did the trick yesterday.

    Not two cyclists blocking a busy but single lane each way and winding main road, but 24 of them setting themselves up as an obstacle. It was impressive the way they made themselves spread to the whole width of the lane and to spread themselves going forward in a way that left no gaps big enough for a car but made the distance needed to overtake the maximum it could be. No escape route for baling out if overtaking proved poor judgement.

    Eventually had to resort to an alternative back road route home and I'll now have a section of video on my dash cam with me swearing loudly and long!
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    Well. At least 24 of them could claim democracy. But for a following driver (especially going to work) it spells a mini disaster.
  • Mark PMark P Posts: 2,180Member
    It looked a bit like a scene from the Grand National with them all jockeying for position.

    There are two main possible routes from here to / from Edinburgh and both are swarming with groups of bike riders most of the year.
  • nicholaspaulnicholaspaul Posts: 448Member
    Am I the only person who shoulder checks before passing someone.... I mean as a pedestrian? Because lots of people don't! Hey, look before pulling out! I might walk right into you!
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    edited May 6
    "All Day Breakfast"

    Why not simply:

    "Mixed Grill" ?

    Why use two syllables when a kazillion will do ?

    "All Day Breakfast" was surpassed this morning. I saw:

    "Build your own All Day Breakfast"

    WTF ? WTF ???

    "How'd you like your tea ?"

    "Two of sand and one of cement - seeing as I'm *building* it myself, you pretentious ***."
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    edited May 6
    Nick - Sorry to steal your thunder there, buddy. I always shoulder check:

    A) Lots of people are out to get me, including the MIBs in the governm't

    B) I have to stretch my neck to be able to see around the giant chip on it !
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    edited May 6
    Don't use an '!'

    It is laughing at one's own joke.
  • Kevin PeatKevin Peat Posts: 2,696Member
    ... or an emoji ;)
  • nicholaspaulnicholaspaul Posts: 448Member

    Nick - Sorry to steal your thunder there, buddy. I always shoulder check:

    A) Lots of people are out to get me, including the MIBs in the governm't

    B) I have to stretch my neck to be able to see around the giant chip on it !

    Good for you mate! Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you!

Sign In or Register to comment.